Brother Mine: Kaorus Story
by SpaggyB
Summary: When Hikaru lands himself a summer fling, Kaoru finds himself hurtling down a forbidden path of jealousy, love and lust hes not entirely sure he wants to get off... but what will Hikaru do when all is revealed?
1. Chapter 1

It all started when Hikaru got his first real girlfriend. Some flighty broad he met over summer vacation. He seemed to be smitten by her witty charm, her flowing hair, her down-to-earth nature, or whatever he called it. Kaoru never really listened when his twin talked about her. Not that he didn't like her, more that he just… well… didn't like her _with Hikaru_. He had to be honest, he wasn't at all happy with the arrangement. The more time Hikaru spent with her, the less time he spent with Kaoru, which left Kaoru alone while Hikaru was off doing God knows what God knows where at all hours of the day and night. And the more time Kaoru spent alone away from his twin, the worse his mood got.

Kaoru wasn't accustomed to being without his brother. For all their life it had always been just the two of them, in their world, undisturbed by and plainly just not interested in anyone outside of that. It wasn't until last year, when one particular girl broke a very expensive vase in the Host Club at their school, that they found themselves starting to open up to the world around them.

Kaoru snapped off a stick of pocky between his teeth, scowling deeply.

_Look where that got us_. He thought bitterly, glaring around the park where he was sitting alone, again. _Look where that got me._

The sun was setting on the horizon, spreading a warm evening glow over the little town where the boys chose to vacation during the summer break that year. Dotted here and there in the park Kaoru occupied were couples, families and students all enjoying the last soaking rays of summer, unwilling to retire to their homes to pack for the journey home tomorrow. Kaoru wondered idly if Hikaru was out there somewhere, shielded from his vision by the dying sun, but quickly decided against it, knowing he would recognise his brother's silhouette in an instant.

_Unless he's wrapped around that trollop again._

He shook his head, feeling only slightly guilty for the vicious thought. Sighing, he tossed the still half full pocky packet into a nearby bin and stood up, shivering slightly in the oncoming chill. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and started down the path, the park around him growing darker and darker with every step. That was the thing about those late summer days, once the light changes it doesn't take long to die completely and leave you out in the cold.

The walk back to the Hitachiin villa wasn't a long one, but Kaoru was still shivering when he stepped through the door. The absence of a light in the upstairs window told him Hikaru was still out, and his mouth turned down in annoyance. He'd never admit it to Hikaru, but he was really starting to miss his company in the evenings. Hell, he was even finding it hard to sleep without his brother's weight in the bed next to him. Late at night after tossing and turning for hours, when he was too weighed down with fatigue to stop himself, he thought about where Hikaru must have been at that same moment, maybe sleeping soundly next to someone else, or maybe not sleeping at all…

Kaoru gritted his teeth and shoved the thought down. What did he care what his brother did with his girlfriend? It was none of his damn business anyway.

_Hikaru can do whatever he wants, I don't care._

Kaoru ran his hands through his hair, tossed his bag aside and went upstairs to his darkened bedroom. Just like the other people in the park that afternoon, he too would be heading back to the city tomorrow in time for the new school year, and he needed to pack. Or, at least, he needed to chuck all of his crap into his suitcase and then make it close. He wasn't in the mood for folding and organising. He wasn't really in the mood for anything. As much as he tried not to let Hikarus absence get to him, every minute they were apart he found it more and more difficult to shake of the feeling of lethargy that was snaking its way into his limbs.

He slammed the lid of his suitcase down over the jumbled mess of fabric and flopped down on the bed, arms out spread, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. Why did he feel so uncomfortable with this? Why did it seem like there was a rock in his shoe that he just couldn't displace? It was like he was half a step out of line with what was going on around him. Like he was half a second too late to react to the world as it happened. Not enough to make a noticeable difference, but just enough to make him grit his teeth in frustration.

Outside the cicadas chirped in the evening breeze as Kaorus hand instinctively sought his brothers on the mattress beside him, only to be left empty once again.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Sorry about that last chapter I dont know what happened! D: Please let me know if this one works or not!**

* * *

"Kaoru! Wake up, we need to go!"

Kaoru groaned and rolled over, wrenching his shoulder out of Hikarus hand. He screwed his eyes shut against the light of morning, and listened to his brothers footsteps on the bedroom floor boards. He must have just gotten home that morning. Kaoru would have woken up in the night had Hikaru come in late.

Something heavy landed on the foot of the bed, next to Kaorus shins. Rubbing his face with one hand, Kaoru pushed himself to a sitting position, yawning softly as his eyes adjusted. Hikaru was folding the clothes that Kaoru had just thrown haphazardly into his suitcase the night before, which was now sitting on the bed, and repacking them. His own suitcase was placed neatly by the door, ready to be picked up.

"What are you doing? I already packed that." Kaoru frowned at his brother, more annoyed that he didn't come home til morning. Hikaru shot a disapproving look at him.

"You didn't even try. I almost broke my ankle getting into bed last night."

"What?" Kaorus brow knitted deeper in confusion. Hikaru had come back? But… surely he would have woken up? "What time did you get in? I thought you stayed out all night again…"

"Um… about one maybe? You were way out of it." Hikaru zipped the suitcase shut and hoisted it to the door, standing it beside his own. He turned back to face his brother, who was still sitting lazily in bed. "Kaoru, get up and take a shower. We're leaving soon, it's a long drive back you know that."

Kaoru waved his hand in his twins direction turning his head to gaze out the window, distracted by the fact that Hikaru had come home and he hadn't woken up.

"I don't want a shower, you go ahead."

"Ahh, fine."

He heard Hikarus shirt, and then a moment later his pants, fall to the floor as he walked over to the bathroom, but didn't pay any attention to it. The twins were so accustomed to each other things like walking around almost naked didn't bother them. Hell, walking around fully naked was no big deal either, it was just like looking in a moving mirror. As they got older though those instances happened less and less as the sense of individual privacy grew between them.

The shower had only been going a few minutes when Kaoru heard the door open again. Looking around, he saw his brother leaning out of the bathroom, hair soaked, a towel draped loosely around his hips. What instantly drew Kaorus attention though, was the dark purple and red bruise sitting lightly beneath his brothers collar bone.

Kaoru froze. He could hear Hikaru asking him something, but the words sounded muffled, as if from far away. All his attention was focused on that hickey, a blatant imposter on the otherwise familiar landscape of his Hikarus chest. Disbelief, confusion and shock rallied inside him, and the mark seemed to grow bigger and bigger the more he stared at it.

"Kaoru! Ay baka! Are you listening to me?!"

Hikaru had raised his voice to almost a shout, and it shook Kaoru out of his trance. Dragging his eyes to his brothers face, he was taken aback by the outright rage he felt boiling up. How dare she! How _dare _she mark Hikaru like that! _How dare she?! _

"Is that a hickey?" his voice was calm, surprising him even more.

Hikaru frowned at him.

"What? I asked if you could get me the body wash from the…"

Kaoru cut him off, his mind fixated on the mark.

"Is that… a hickey?"

Hikaru stepped out of the bathroom, straightening up as he tried to comprehend his brothers question.

"A hickey? No? Where?"

Kaoru slid slowly over to the side of the bed, swinging his legs over to place his feet on the floor and clutched at the edge of the mattress with his hands. He nodded in Hikarus direction, afraid that if he let go of the mattress he would topple over.

"There. On your shoulder."

Hikarus face screwed up in confusion as he darted back into the bathroom. A moment passed before Kaoru heard him give a startled yell. He heard the shower being turned off, and tried to take a deep breath. He didn't know why he was reacting like he was… he felt so angry at her, and so angry at _him_, even though he knew he had no right to be. Like he decided the night before, Hikaru could do whatever he wanted with his girlfriend, it was none of his business. Yet… the idea of her leaving such a mark on him… it turned his stomach for a reason he couldn't place.

Hikaru had stepped out of the bathroom again, one hand fingering the bruise idly, an embarrassed grin stretched across his red face.

"Ah… yeah I guess it is… She said she wouldn't leave anything but… gah this is embarrassing…"

Kaoru scowled.

_She said she wouldn't leave anything. What did that mean?_

"Guess she lied then." Kaorus scowl deepened, and he looked away, disgusted at the thought.

"I'm sure she didn't mean to." Hikaru said in reply. "Besides, it'll fade in a few days. Ill just make sure to wear a shirt everywhere til then."

"It'll still be there though."

"Yeah? So? Its just a hickey Kaoru…"

Kaoru snapped his neck back around to glower at his brother, his knuckles clenched so tight around the mattress they were turning white. A part of him knew it wasn't fair to be acting so angrily towards Hikaru, but he couldn't stop himself.

"_Just _a hickey? Its not _just _a hickey, Hikaru! Its… its…" he floundered, trying to find a word that wasn't completely ridiculous.

_Disgusting? Dirty? Whorish?_

"Its what, Kaoru?" Hikaru was starting to get angry now, reacting to the hostility radiating off of his twin. "None of your business? What do you care if I have a hickey or not?"

"What do I care?" Kaoru was on his feet now, his voice raised and shouting at his brother. "Of course I care! You're my brother and that slut has gone and branded you! And you let her!"

"You watch your mouth Kaoru, she is not a slut!" Hikaru was shouting now too, sending droplets of water from his still-wet hair out around him. "And saying she _branded_ me? Who do you think you are? Its none of your business what I do and don't do with other people!"

Kaoru huffed out a breath in frustration. He knew Hikaru was right, yet he still felt angry. Angry and… hurt? Betrayed? Was that what he was feeling? He rubbed his hands over his eyes and through his hair, sitting heavily back down onto the bed. Why was he feeling betrayed? What was this?

A moment passed before he spoke again, trying to sound calm but with a tremble in his voice.

"Just go have your shower Hikaru. We have to go soon."

Hikaru didn't say anything, he just turned on his heel and stomped back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

Fights between the twins never lasted long normally, so by the time Hikaru was out of the shower and the boys were sitting in the back of the car ready to go home, his sour mood had almost completely evaporated. Truth be told though, Kaoru still felt edgy about the hidden mark under his brothers shirt, try as he might to let it go and move on. For the entire car trip home, hes eyes kept being drawn back to Hikarus shoulder, as if he could feel it there, radiating the evidence of Hikarus time away from him.

As stupid as that evidently was, even to Kaoru, no amount of normality from Hikaru would overshadow the unease tugging away at him.

However, over the next two days, when the twins were home again, swapping out their summer bags for their school ones, getting their hair trimmed and their booklists sorted, Hikaru never once took off his shirt around his twin. Kaoru figured he was trying not to cause trouble between them, and he appreciated it, but it did little to ease the knot that had settled into his stomach. At night when Hikaru was sound asleep next to him, he was still able to brush his fingers over the dark, tender flesh beneath the thin cotton of his brothers night shirt, and wonder why it made him feel so… _raw_. By the time the first day of school rolled around, there were light smudges under his eyes where the sleepless nights had caught him, and he didn't even last a week before Haruhi, a friend of the twins and a member of the host club, had picked up on it.

"Kaoru! Walk with me to the music room?"

The final bell had rung and the twins were packing their books away when Haruhi, who was in the same class, approached them. Kaoru looked to his brother, who, to his surprise, was regarding her almost resentfully . The look only lasted a split second though before Hikaru shrugged it off, and swung his bag around his shoulder.

"Fine with me." He said, walking towards the door. "I'll meet you guys there, I have to make a phone call anyway."

Kaoru watched him go, his concern for his brothers aloofness quickly replaced with a surge of irritation. There was only one person he could think of that Hikaru would be calling right after school finished and he didn't like it at all.

Haruhi cleared her throat, dragging Kaorus attention back to her. One glance at her soft smile, and Kaoru could feel the tension ebbing away. Last year it seemed as though either he or Hikaru would end up dating her, but that wasn't the way it panned out in the end. Kaoru at least had come to terms with it and they had settled into an easy friendship. He thought Hikaru had done the same, but now he wasn't so sure.

The two of them left the classroom, Kaoru waiting for Haruhi to break the silence, aware that she must have singled him out for a reason.

"So, how did your summer end up? Do okay without him?"

Kaoru half shrugged, half grimaced at her question. Of course, he had talked to her when Hikaru had run off over the summer, and of course that was what she wanted to talk about… but how was he going to talk about this?

"Yeah, I guess so… thanks for listening to me about it Haru-chan."

"No, its fine, I completely understand!"

She hesitated, something she didn't usually do, and Kaoru glanced sideways at her, wondering if maybe summer wasn't what she wanted to talk about.

"So… is that why you've been kind of out of it this week?" her voice was innocent enough, but Hikaru was still taken aback. "You seem a bit distant, and you have rings under your eyes… everything okay?"

Kaoru bit his lip, suddenly overcome with the urge to tell her everything. Everything he had been thinking, everything he had been feeling, the hurt, the anger, the betrayal, the confusion about why he was feeling the way he was… but he couldn't. So he shrugged.

"No… no it's not that." He feigned a chuckle. "It wasn't _that _bad being without him. I am capable of looking after myself you know."

Haruhi gave him a friendly nudge with her elbow. "Which is why I now have a massive phone bill to pay for."

"Ah… yeah I'll pay that for you… sorry about that." He shot her a grin and they fell silent again. Taking a breath, Kaoru decided to go for it

"There is something though…" If he worded it right, she wouldn't suspect he was talking about Hikaru… "I um… theres actually this… person who I've been talking with a lot, you know, over summer actually, and I don't know I just… I don't _like _like them or anything, but I… well they go here and since we got back they haven't really said two words to me and… they've been hanging out with someone else a lot and I don't know I guess I don't like it? I mean… I know I can't say that, really, its not fair of me to feel like this since its not like… _romantic _or anything, but I don't know I saw them with a hickey yesterday and I just got really angry I mean… who _does_ that?"

He knew he had gone too far, but he just couldn't stop himself.

"Who just _does _that to someone you know? I mean, not only is it gross, its like, I thought we were hanging out and stuff, and then they just show up with this _injury_ and act like its all good and nothings happened and urgh I just… I _know _its not my place, that's what gets me you know? I just… urgh I don't know…"

Kaoru trailed off as he felt his face burning under Haruhis patient gaze. He hadn't realised it, but they had stopped in the middle of the now deserted hallway, and his hands were fists resting against his sides. He avoided meeting Haruhis eyes as he waited for her to reply, if she was even going to.

She let out a murmur, and he subtly gritted his teeth.

"Sounds to me like you _do _like them…" she shrugged, raising an eyebrow at him as his eyes flicked up to her face. "You know… romantically."

Kaorus mouth ran dry, knowing full well he was really talking about his twin brother.

"No… no. I don't I mean…." Kaoru was floundering now. "I just didn't like them blowing me off like that, you know? I just… You know me I've only just started opening up to people. Maybe its always like this…"

Haruhi just nodded, her eyebrow still raised, the corner of her mouth twisted up in a sly smile.

"Mhmm, whatever you say…" she started walking again, leaving Kaoru to straggle after her. "But it sounds to me like you're…" she dragged the word out teasingly. "… jealous. Jealous that this person is spending time with someone else and not you, and jealous that they were obviously in the position to get a hickey from someone else… sounds to me like you definitely have romantic feelings, Kaoru."

"I… well… no I mean…" Kaoru tried to find the words to defend himself, but the knot that had been sitting in his stomach all week was starting to grow tighter. Haruhi cut him off.

"Do they make you happy when you see them?"

"Well… yes... but-"

"Do you think about them when they aren't there?"

"Well… yes, but-"

"Does thinking about them with someone else make you angry, or upset?"

Kaoru didn't answer that one, opting instead to bite the inside of his cheek. Haruhi flashed him a grin.

"I'm going to take that as a yes." They had reached the music room, and her hand rested lightly on the door handle. "Kaoru, ultimately its up to you, but if you want my opinion, I'd say you have at least _some _sort of romantic feelings for this person. Just… think it over okay?"

She turned towards the door, ready to open it and step through, but seemed to change her mind for a second, looking back over her shoulder to throw him a wicked grin Kaoru hadn't seen from her before.

"And if you really cant decide Kaoru…. Try thinking about them in the shower."

She flashed him a cheeky wink, pushed open the door and disappeared into the swirling rose petals, leaving Kaoru, thoroughly confused and, truth be told, slightly aroused, to stumble in her wake.


	4. Chapter 4

The next few days were a blur to Kaoru. He was able to keep it together just enough to pass as normal, in class and around others, but on the rare occasions he did find himself alone, he was an absolute mess. His mind kept going back to his conversation with Haruhi, and the things she had said about his feelings. Of course, she was wrong, she _had_ to be wrong. It just seemed that it was romantic because the twins had grown up so close, that's all. Right?

The more he thought about it though, the faster his heart raced. More than once he'd caught himself staring across at his brother in class, involuntarily flushing with embarrassment for a reason he couldn't place when he came to. While it was as easy as it had always been to act the devil in the host club, it was becoming harder and harder to revert back to normal when the day was done. He laughed a little too long, smiled a little too wide… or maybe he had always done that? He just couldn't tell any more, and it threw him off balance.

Did he always touch Hikaru so much? Was it normal to stand so close? Was he just noticing it now that he thought about their every move, or was he trying too hard not to be obvious? Obvious about what though? These thoughts chased themselves around and around in his mind while his brother, and everyone else around them, remained blissfully unaware. Always though, always, his thoughts retraced themselves back to what Haruhi had said that day he confided in her.

Which was why he found himself gently creeping out of bed one night, careful not to wake his sleeping twin, and tiptoeing out of their room and down the hall to the guest bathroom. Of course the twins had their own en suit bathroom attached to their room, but Kaoru was far too nervous to risk the noise waking Hikaru. Not this time.

He shut and locked the door behind him, spinning around slowly to lean against the wood. He still hadn't fully made up his mind about what he was going to do, but something that Haruhi had said had been haunting him at night, when he was too wired to sleep, and he simply couldn't ignore it any more.

_"And if you really cant decide Kaoru… try thinking about them in the shower..."_

Part of him couldn't believe he was even considering it, but with the thought came a twist in his gut that wasn't exactly unpleasant, and it was that part that compelled him to finally slip out of bed.

He felt giddy, nervous, guilty… and excited. He hardly noticed what he was doing until the cool steam was swirling around his bare ankles and his mouth ran dry. He swallowed hard before he slipped off his boxers and stepped into the running water, head bowed against the heat.

The water seemed to waken him up a bit, pulling him out of his trance-like state. Was he really going to do this? The thought seemed absurd, Hikaru was his _twin brother_… and yet, he could still feel his heart beating in his chest.

Of course, masturbation was something Kaoru was well familiar with. He was a teenage boy after all, and almost every shower he took involved some kind of self-induced pleasure, usually over a pretty boy or girl in one of the magazines he kept stashed away in hiding. This was different though, this wasn't just about a particularly appealing body in a center fold, this was _Hikaru_. This was embarrassing, nerve racking, shameful… _and he liked it._

Leaning his head against the cool tiles, he closed his eyes and, ignoring the small part of him that shouted to turn back, pictured his twin brother as he had been that day in the Host Club, mischievous and playful as they entertained their guests.

_This is wrong._

He swallowed nervously against the thought and carried on, remembering how Hikaru had pretended to hurt him with a seemingly careless comment. How he had turned gentle and caring, his slender fingers wrapping around Kaorus wrist and pulling him close…

_What are you _doing _Kaoru?!_

He blinked, shaking his head a little as his lips parted, unable to control the slight tremble that had crept over his body.

_Unable… or unwilling?_

He could almost feel Hikarus fingers on his skin again, but this time it wasn't from the Host Club, it was from that very night, as the twins lay side by side in bed, Hikaru sleeping softly, unaware of how his hand trailed softly over the skin of Kaorus stomach as he moved with his dreams. Kaoru had watched him, marvelling at the innocence and fragility of his brother in the moonlight, his thoughts reckless and uncontrolled.

In the shower, Kaoru could feel himself stirring, reacting to his thoughts, and his mind kicked into over drive. He was torn, so torn, half of him wanting to step over the edge, the other half riddled with shame and guilt that he could be having these thoughts over his own twin. His breath came in short gasps through his open mouth, and his chest heaved, heavy with anticipation and nerves. In his mind, he was roaring at himself to stop, but his body had been awakened, and there was a fire burning just beneath his skin, fighting desperately to break free and consume him.

Screwing his eyes shut, barely aware of what he was doing, he raised one had to trace a path over the tingling skin of his navel. His fingertips left flames where they ran, and he felt his heart pick up speed as they inched their way further down towards his hips. Pressing his forehead against the tiles, his lips parted, and he breathed his brothers name.

"Hi… karu…"

His skin burned beneath his hand, and he felt the familiar ache of desire radiating through his body. His fingers found his arousal and, hardly daring to believe his own actions, wrapped themselves around it, moving slowly, hesitantly. It was enough though, enough to cloud his better judgement and chase away the last remaining thoughts of sanity. All that remained in his mind was Hikaru, and the shameless desire he had been bottling up inside of him.

"Hikaru… _oh!_"

His eyes flew open wide as he was overtaken by desire so strong it shocked him. Every thought he had ever suppressed, every image he had ever conjured of his brother came roaring to life again, fanned by the flames of Kaorus desperate arousal. Every place on his body that Hikaru had ever touched screamed their memories, and Kaoru only begged for more. He braced himself against the wall with his free arm, unsteady under the onslaught of sensation, his head and shoulders bowed against the river of heat and steam that only fueled him on. A whimper escaped his lips between his battered breaths as he drew himself closer and closer to the edge, each stroke pushing his limits. In his mind it was only Hikaru and his soft, flawless skin, the curve of his lips, and the touch of his hand… the thought of his twin drove Kaoru wild with a desire he had never felt before.

"Oh my God… Hikaru… _ahh… Hikaru!_"

His heart was racing, his mind was reeling and his body was screaming as he pushed himself to orgasm. Jolts of bliss racked his frame and his breath came in shudders through trembling lips. His eyes were screwed shut as he swam in the ecstasy of his forbidden climax, one hand still slowly stroking himself, milking every last drop of pleasure he could from his shameful desire. Opening his eyes, he watched as the last trace of what he had just done was washed away down the drain, and the reality of it sent a sharp stab through his gut.

Dropping his hands to his sides, he slumped his back against the wall of the shower, sliding down slowly to sit under the stream of water. He loosely crossed his long legs as best he could in the confined space, and rested his head against the tiles, his mind finally quiet, although he could feel reality not far off, waiting to overtake him. For the moment though, he was empty, distant from those thoughts, distant from the world, content to just sit in the shower and let the water wash him away.

Unaware of how long he had been sitting there, Kaoru finally reached up to turn off the water. As if in a daze, still unwilling to let his situation catch up to him, he dried himself off, put on his boxers and snuck back up the hall to where his brother was still asleep. Back in bed, Kaoru listened to Hikarus steady breathing, felt his heat gently radiating from his skin, and knew that Haruhi had been right.

That night, Kaoru slept peacefully for the first time since they had returned from summer break.


	5. Chapter 5

Life was surprisingly normal after Kaorus little stunt in the shower. The next day dawned bright, and he awoke with his big brother draped around him like usual, until he woke him up and they prepared for school, like usual, right through to when they were in the music room, entertaining their guests, just like usual. In fact, every day went by in that manner, running smoothly with absolutely no indication that Kaoru had gotten his rocks off to the thought of his twin brother in the shower, something he was sure those around him would frown upon were they to ever find out. Frankly speaking, it threw him for a loop.

One thing that had changed, however, was his awareness of himself. Outwardly, Kaoru seemed to just be Kaoru, acting cheeky, playing the part, but inside, he was in constant over drive, hyper aware of every action, every word, constantly fretting that one little slip up would give him away. No longer able to deny his attraction to Hikaru, he desperately tried to bury it, shove it down, hoping that ignoring it would make it go away. What else was he supposed to do? It was all fun and games in the host club, but out in real life, twin on twin action was probably not the best of ideas. Plus, if Hikaru found out anything at all, Kaoru was certain it would break their bond forever, and that would completely devastate him. No, he just had to grit his teeth and bare it until it passed.

He could still look though, right?

It was a bright Sunday afternoon, and the twins were in their bedroom, text books open, phones off, various papers spread out around them. Kaoru sat cross-legged on the edge of their bed, while Hikaru opted for the floor beneath him, lying across the pillows he'd arranged under his chest. Hikarus eyes were trained determinedly on his work, his brow furrowed, pen between his teeth. Kaoru however…

It was a warm day, so both boys had abandoned their shirts, and from his vantage point above Hikaru, Kaoru had a brilliant view of his brothers bare muscles, taught and lean beneath his flawless skin. The way his shoulder blades moved every time Hikaru turned a page or jotted a note, how his copper hair shone in the sunlight… Kaoru couldn't focus on his work when such perfection was mere feet from him. He still felt guilty for fantasizing over Hikaru, but he just couldn't keep his eyes away. Every day since his true feelings were awoken, he'd noticed more and more about his brother that he hadn't thought twice about in the past. From his delicate collar bones, to the way his bottom lip curved when he smiled, even the way his hip bones jutted out _just _enough to create a tempting little triangle of open space between his pants and his skin. And the more he noticed, the less he understood.

"Hikaru, have you ever wondered why its so hard for others to tell us apart?"

Hikaru looked up at Kaoru from the floor, his brow slightly furrowed.

"I always thought that it might have something to do with the fact that we're identical, but maybe there's something I'm missing…"

Kaoru rolled his eyes and sighed at his twins wicked grin.

"Are we really though?" he shifted, suddenly nervous, as Hikaru hoisted himself off the floor, sitting down next to him, the grin from before now gone. "I mean, when you look at me, is it the same to you as looking in a mirror?"

A moment of silence passed as Kaoru stared at his hands, waiting for Hikarus reply, inwardly wondering if he should have just kept quiet.

"Is it for you?"

Without thinking, Kaoru lifted his head to face his brother, and lost his breath because of it. Hikarus bright golden eyes were mere inches from his, his beautiful face set in a mask of soft confusion, a sight Kaoru was unprepared for. His mouth ran dry as he struggled to keep a hold of himself, while every thought of his brother he had had over the past few weeks bombarded his mind. Looking at Hikaru like this, it was hard to believe they were even twins. Of course it wasn't like looking into a mirror, how could it be, when Hikaru was so utterly perfect, and he was… just not?

"Kaoru?"

Hikarus voice cut through his confusion, and he swallowed hard before answering in a pitch just a little too high.

"Uh, yeah I guess it is." He ruffled the hair on the back of his neck and grinned sheepishly, a nervous habit of his. "You're right, we are identical and all… just forget I said anything."

Hikaru cocked his head ever so slightly to the side, regarding his brother with an unreadable expression. Kaorus heart raced as he waited for Hikaru to say something insulting so they could return to their homework, wishing that his brother hadn't noticed anything to give his perverted thoughts away, and just believed he was being an idiot again. Hikaru, however, had a different idea.

Kaorus stomach flipped as Hikarus hand came to rest softly on his cheek. Kaorus own hand came to rest automatically on his brothers, but whether out of habit, shock or desire he couldn't tell. He felt his eyes widen under Hikarus pensive gaze as his already racing heart kicked into over drive._ What was Hikaru playing at?_

After what felt like an eternity, Hikaru spoke, his voice hushed and raw.

"Its not like looking in a mirror to me. How could it be?"

Kaorus skin burned beneath his brothers touch.

"Hi…karu?"

Hikaru edged closer to Kaoru on the bed, laying his other hand on his brothers hip. Kaoru felt as if he was going to combust into flames, still utterly at a loss as to what has happening. Was Hikaru about to confess to the same internal struggle Kaoru had been concealing, or was this a game to him? Kaoru began to tremble as his brothers fingertips brushed lightly against his skin.

"Kaoru… I never understood it either. They say we're exactly alike but… we're not… It's so obvious to me."

Hikarus hand had now reached Kaorus ribs, and Kaoru could not conceal his reactions any longer. He trembled, he gasped, his hand curled over his brothers as it made its way down the tender skin of his neck and came to rest on his naked collar bone, completely unabashed and unforgiving. Their faces were so close now that Kaoru could taste his brothers sweet breath in his open mouth.

"Is it not obvious to you… Kaoru?"

He could barely gather enough concentration to reply, and his voice shook weakly.

"It is… I… I think so too…"

His words were cut off when the hand on his chest suddenly flattened out and pushed against his ribs. In one smooth movement, Hikaru had shoved Kaoru back onto the mattress and swung his leg over his brothers hips, straddling him and leaning close. All coherent thought had fled Kaorus mind as he stared up at the perfect face above him, so unlike his own he could have laughed at everyone who had ever gotten them confused. Kaoru was _nothing_ compared to his God-like brother. To hell with DNA and identical twins, he would never be as beautiful as Hikaru was to him.

"Shhh Kaoru, its okay." Hikarus quiet voice brushed against Kaorus ear, making him realise he had been talking out loud. His face flushed and his lips parted as he felt Hikaru run a hand through his hair. "You think I'm God like?"

Kaoru nodded his head, too stunned at what was happening to speak. Hikaru just flashed a smile and traced his fingertips over his brothers heated skin.

"Oh Kaoru, how could I be a God when I'm standing next to you?"

Kaoru started to protest, but Hikaru laid a finger on his lips, pushing his pulse to hyper speed.

"Shh Kaoru, please…" The pleading note in Hikarus voice made Kaoru whine beneath his brothers touch. "It's always been you…" the fingers over Kaorus mouth splayed out to stroke his cheek. "You've always been the most beautiful person I've ever seen… its unforgivable that they don't see that… that they liken you to me…"

Hikaru screwed his eyes shut and turned his head away as he sat up, dropping his hands to his sides in conflicted pain. Kaoru rose to lean on his elbows, completely enraptured by the look of glorious sorrow on his brothers face. To hear his exact thoughts echoed by Hikaru was… incredible. The elation he felt at having his feelings for his brother reflected back at him were being equally matched by the terrifying anticipation of what he thought was the only thing that could come next. Were they really going to cross that line? The thought maddened him with lustful fear as he drank in the sight of Hikaru's conflicted passion in front of him.

Slowly, Hikaru turned to gaze at his brother again, his trembling hand reaching out to caress the bare skin of Kaorus chest. Kaoru matched his twins grace as he sat upright, one arm snaking deliberately around his waist to pull Hikarus own naked chest flush against his. They were so close now, their lips barely an inch apart, Kaoru longingly gazing up at Hikaru like he had done so many times before during their act. But this wasn't an act, not this time.

Hikarus sweet, sweet breath washed over Kaorus skin as he breathed his name from between his trembling lips.

"Kaoru…"

"Hikaru…"

Kaoru started to tilt his head, closing the gap between them that felt like a chasm.

"We should use this in the Host Club…"

Kaoru froze. What? What had Hikaru just said? The Host Club?

An icy chill swallowed Kaoru whole as the reality of what Hikaru meant hit him. He lifted his eyes to Hikarus, and felt a stab in his gut at the wicked grin he knew so well plastered over his brothers face.

It wasn't real. It was an act. His brother had been playing out an idea, that's all. It's something they had done hundreds of times before in fact. Getting struck by a new idea they could use in the Club and acting it out to see if it would work.

Hikaru sat back on Kaorus thighs, completely unaware of what he had just done to his brother.

"I guess maybe cut out some of the more touchy-feely parts, that was me getting carried away looking for content, but can you imagine what it'll do to our clients? Ha!"

Kaoru didn't respond. He couldn't respond. He was too angry. He felt hurt, betrayed, stupid, oh _so stupid._ How could he possibly have let himself get so caught up in that? Of course it wasn't real, it was never real, it never _could_ be real. It _should_ never be real.

Hikaru started laughing, delighted at the prospect of a new show to put before the ladies, still sitting back on Kaorus knees. Kaoru looked up at him, all feelings of wonderment gone, replaced by anger, embarrassment and most of all, shame. Before he could stop himself, he sat up and forcefully shoved his brother off his lap and onto the floor.

"Ah! Baka-da! Don't get so close, its weirding me out!" Kaorus face flushed and he couldn't look Hikaru in the eye. Hikaru grinned up at him, unfazed by the sudden outburst. His face turned sly as he mocked his twin.

"But Kaoru, I want to be close to you…"

Kaoru rolled his eyes and stood up, stepping over his brother as he headed towards the bathroom. Hikaru turned to watch him.

"Kaoru, I'm only joking around sheesh!"

Kaoru waved a hand over his shoulder, not turning to look at him.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. I'm having a shower. Gotta get your stink off me."

Hikaru was still laughing to himself as Kaoru slammed the bathroom door behind him, shaking uncontrollably with an emotion he couldn't place. Rejection? Betrayal? Pain? He just didn't know.

Kaorus fist came down on the bathroom bench, tears he was unable to hold back welling in his eyes. He fought to control his angry sobbing, still aware that Hikaru was just in the next room, causing his body to shake and tremble. He wasn't entirely sure what had just happened, but one thing he did know, was that something had to change. He couldn't go on like this.

Something just had to give.


	6. Chapter 6

His anger didn't subside. He snapped, he glowered, he averted his eyes every time Hikaru came near. He couldn't help it, he had this feeling of contempt bubbling just under his skin that he couldn't calm down. The rejection he'd felt would not leave him, and with each passing day it fed the resentment building inside of him. Often, when the twins were alone, he would find some excuse to leave the room, leave the house, anything just to get away from Hikaru, not even caring if it was having an effect on his brother. Not caring enough to notice.

He leant on Haruhi, during school and in the afternoons, ranting and raving to her about whatever nonsense he could articulate without drawing attention to the real issue, venting his pent up emotion as best he could without giving himself away. He directed his anger towards teachers, classmates, even his own parents, anywhere as long as he didn't mention Hikaru, something that drove him wild with frustration. All he really wanted to do was grab his twin by the shoulders and shake him senseless. Or kiss him. It varied from hour to hour, which also played a part in his maddening irritation. He was losing control of himself, and he was powerless to stop it.

"Kaoru! Stop!"

It was lunch time at Ouran, and he and Haruhi were once again sitting in a vacant classroom. Hikaru was nowhere to be seen, and truth be told, Kaoru hadn't even noticed him leaving. Haruhi was standing behind her desk, her fingers splayed on the wood where she had pushed herself to her feet, her eyes glaring daggers at Kaorus pouting face. She had just interrupted one of his rants, having finally had enough.

"Kaoru, you need to talk to Hikaru, this is getting ridiculous."

Kaoru was taken aback. He was sure he hadn't even mentioned his twin, so why was she bringing him up?

"What about Hikaru? He's got nothing to do with this."

Haruhi sighed, sitting back down to lay her head in her hands.

"Kaoru, cant you see whats happening here?" She lifted her gaze to his, radiating that sudden calmness she always seemed to have. "I don't know whats really going on with you, since you seem absolutely determined not to tell me, but I'm sure it involves him. You guys have hardly even _looked _at each other in days, its affecting the rest of us."

Kaoru shifted his eyes to the floor, his brow furrowing deeper. Of course Haruhi saw right through him, she always had.

"It's not something I can talk to him about."

"Which is probably the problem." Haruhi got up and walked over to where he was sitting on the windowsill, taking a place next to him gently. "You two have always been so close. Whatever happened must be really terrible if you think you cant talk to him about it. Are you sure you don't want to talk to me?"

Kaorus head snapped back and he caught her gaze, an almost overwhelming urge to confess everything surging through him. His breath caught momentarily, but he managed to swallow hard and force it down, his face reddening as he turned away, staying silent.

Haruhi sighed.

"Kaoru just… try." She got up, walking back to her desk and gathering her things. "He talks to me too you know, and he's actually worried about you. We all are."

Kaoru just watched her go.


	7. Chapter 7

That night, after dinner, the twins were together in their room, Hikaru reading a manga on the bed and Kaoru doodling idly at his desk across the room. There were only two small lamps on, one with each brother, and the lamp shades flung dramatic shadows through the air. To Kaoru at least, the tension was almost palpable as he sat twirling his pencil through his fingers, his feet restless on the floor boards. Haruhis words from that afternoon drifted through his mind, and his features were set into a menacing scowl.

_"Kaoru just… try."_

It wasn't that easy though. What was he meant to say? _"Oh, Hikaru by the way, I know we're twins and all, but I really want to make out with you right now." _Yeah that would go down a treat. He tapped his pencil lightly on the desk, the scribbles he'd drawn echoing the mess in his mind. Growling under his breath, he scrunched up the paper and lobbed it at the bin.

"Kaoru, if you're not going to talk to me, could you at least keep it down so I can read?"

Kaoru glanced across the room at his brother, who was staring determinedly at the page in front of him, even though his eyes weren't moving with the words. Even in the low light Kaoru could see Hikarus strained muscles from where he was holding his book too tight, and he knew Hikaru was feeling just as tense as he was. Scowling, Kaoru turned his eyes back to the desk, tapping his pencil just a little bit harder on the desk.

"I'm hardly making any noise at all. Maybe you're just bad at concentrating."

From the corner of his eye Kaoru saw Hikarus mouth twist up in a grimace, and he couldn't stop his own from smirking with satisfaction. A moment passed between them, Kaorus pencil still tapping, Hikarus eyes still staring a hole into his page. Neither twin wanted to be the first to speak and admit that defeat.

Eventually, Hikaru caved, closing his book and slamming it down onto the mattress with just a little too much force.

"Kaoru, seriously, tell me whats wrong."

Kaoru shot him a glance. He hadn't expected his brother to be so forward. Regardless, he merely shrugged and tapped his pencil.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Hikaru growled.

"That's bullshit and you know it." Kaoru could feel the anger starting to build in his brothers voice, and his own blood reacted in kind. "Do you know how awkward it is for me at school when you're acting like this? Everyones coming to me asking about you, and I cant answer them, so whatever it is, spit it out!"

"Oh right, of course, everyone goes to you to ask about me, how typical." Kaoru rolled his eyes, squinting determinedly at his pencil hitting the desk. "If you're that embarrassed just tell them to ask me. They wont, but you wont care about that."

"Of course I care!" Hikaru was getting louder now, perched right on the edge of the bed, as if ready to spring. "Why do you think I'm asking you now? Because I care about you and I want to know whats got you like this!"

Kaoru bit the inside of his cheek, anger rolling off him in waves. Some part of him knew he was being irrational and not handling the situation at all well, but a larger part of him just didn't care.

Releasing his cheek, he stood up, feigning nonchalance.

"I'm going to have a shower, try to calm down before I get back Hikaru."

He turned to leave, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, but stopped at his brothers next words.

"Oh right, fine! Leave!" Hikaru was on his feet now, shouting at Kaorus retreating back, his voice shaking with emotion. "That's what you always do these days isn't it, you just leave!"

Kaoru spun around, infuriated. All the anger that had been swelling just below the surface broke free of the dam that had been holding it back.

"Don't you _dare _get mad at me for leaving Hikaru! You're the one who left _me _first!"

Hikaru jerked back, surprised and confused by his brothers outburst.

"What the hell are you talking about, I never left you?"

Kaorus mind screamed at him to stop, but he's anger wasn't listening.

"You did! Last summer! You left me and ran off with that girl you hardly even knew!" He was shaking now, breathing hard.

Hikarus rage couldn't be stopped either, and he took an angry step forward.

"I only did that because…" he caught himself, planting his foot down mid stride, visibly biting his tongue. Whatever he wanted to say, Kaoru knew he had to force it out.

"Because what, Hikaru? Because I was boring? Because you didn't want to be around me any longer?" he could feel tears welling in his eyes, and he fought them desperately, unwilling to let his anger turn to anguish. "Because she was better than me?"

"Because you were ignoring me Kaoru!"

Hikarus voice roared through the room, crashing into Kaoru like a tidal wave. Kaoru could see the pain he felt inside himself reflected plainly on his brothers face as he struggled to understand. He blinked away tears and gasped for breath through parted lips as he tried to think of something to say. Before he could though, Hikaru continued, a pleading note replacing the anger in his voice.

"You spent all your time on the phone to Haruhi… you were ignoring me and… and when you did talk to me it was Haruhi this and Haruhi that and I… I got jealous." Hikarus face was awash with unhidden tears now as Kaoru stared at him, uncomprehending. "I wanted to make you jealous… I wanted to… I wanted to do to you what you were doing to me…"

"Hikaru… what are you talking about? Haruhi?"

_Do to me what I was doing to him?_

"Haruhis just a friend Hikaru… you went off with a stranger and…" The memory of that summer was burning into the forefront of his mind again. The nights spent alone, the constant babble about her from Hikaru…

The hickey…

That did it. Remembering the mark she left on his brothers skin ignited the flames of hatred and anger inside him once more, and he bared his teeth at his twin in rage. Hikaru had turned meek, his face wet, a mask of desperation and pleading. Kaoru was on fire.

"How can you say what you did was on par with what I did, Hikaru? You were a hundred times worse, a thousand!"

"I just wanted your attention back! It felt like you didn't even know I was there!"

"_You _slept _with her!"_

Hikaru shook his head, his hands reaching out towards Kaoru.

"No… no I…"

Kaoru spun around, ignoring his brothers begging, and reached for the door. Just as his hand hit the handle, Hikaru gave a cry behind him.

"Kaoru! Don't leave me!"

The room fell eerily silent as Hikarus words hung in the air. Kaoru could feel his heart beating madly in his chest as he heard the soft _thud_ that was Hikaru hitting the floor. Quiet sobs floated around his ringing ears in the otherwise silent night, and his hand shook on the handle. He was torn.

An eternity seemed to pass in which Kaoru stood frozen in place, and Hikaru sobbed uncontrollably on the floor. Around them, the night had grown still and quiet, the shadows on the walls unmoving, watching the scene with a morbid curiosity. In time, Kaoru could take it no longer, and turned slowly to face his brother, his heart wrenching at the sight of his crumpled form.

Hikarus legs had given out and folded beneath him. His hands were splayed on the wooden boards as he hunched over, his weeping making stains on the polish beneath him. His head was bowed, but Kaoru didn't need to see his face to know the anguish that was etched there. A sudden feeling of absolute despair washed over him, driving away all the anger he had felt, replacing it with guilt and grief. As if by their own accord, his legs carried him across the room to where his brother wept, and he fell gracefully down to the floor.

"Don't leave me… please don't… don't leave me again…"

Kaoru reached out a hand to touch Hikarus cheek, tracing his fingertips lightly over the skin to his jaw. Cupping his brothers chin in his fingers, he tilted his head up, wanting desperately to see his twins eyes, his body trembling with anticipation of what he was going to see in them.

It took his breath away. Hikarus face was wet with tears, his cheeks flushed pink, his bottom lip swollen with bite marks. His eyes were the worst. Gleaming, raw, a silent, tortured cry hidden behind thick, sodden lashes. Every ill thought, every morsel of anger and resentment Kaoru had felt towards his brother since summer ended hit him at once, like a stab to the gut. He felt sorrow paint his own features with the same mask Hikaru wore as they stared into each others eyes for nothing short of an age.

Hikaru swallowed, his hand coming to rest over Kaorus, still cupped under his chin.

"Kaoru… I… I'm sor…"

Kaoru didn't let him finish. His hand shot around the back of Hikarus neck, and pulled him into his arms, holding him tight against his chest. What had he done to his brother? What had he done…

"Shh Hikaru, its alright, I'm here… I'm here Hikaru its alright…" he murmured, "I'll never leave you again, I promise."

Hikarus hands found Kaorus shoulders and he pushed him back just enough to see his face. Kaoru could see his words had ignited a spark of hope in his brothers eyes, but the pain was still there, just enough of it to twist the knife in his gut. His eyes roamed Hikarus face, from his wild hair down over his glistening eyes, to his quivering lips… so close… so open…

It was like a dream. One minute, Kaoru was comforting his brother, holding him in his arms and the next, he was tasting his lips, salty and swollen from his raw passion. He could feel Hikarus shock beneath his mouth, but he couldn't pull away, couldn't hold back the longing that had been awoken in his moment of vulnerability. He needed to taste him, to feel him, to take him.

Too soon, Hikaru had gained control of himself and pulled back, his hands shoving at Kaorus shoulders. Kaorus breath came fast and heavy through flared nostrils as his glowing eyes and parted lips screamed of passion and desire. Hikaru wore a mask of shock and confusion, his own eyes wide and uncomprehending. Neither twin said a word as they sat knee to knee, one aflame with lust and longing, the other awash with surprise.

Time dragged on, and with each passing second Kaorus heart beat faster. What had he done? What had he done, what had he done, _what had he done?_ He swallowed hard, his desire turning to panic as Hikaru sat still and silent. His mind kick started into over drive. _What had he done?!_

"Hikaru…" his voice cracked, a note of pleading ringing through. "Hikaru I… I…"

Hikaru launched himself forward, and their mouths collided like meteors, their passion burning stars into Kaorus closed eyes. He could feel Hikarus fingers seeking his skin, and he reached his own hands out to grab his brothers shirt, his hair, anything he could reach. His mind was racing, craving, needing the touch of Hikarus skin, fuelled on by the response he had been wanting for such a long time.

He felt Hikarus hands tug at the hem of his shirt, and he pulled back obediently to let him wrench it over his head, immediately returning the favour. He sat back on his calves, snaking one arm around Hikarus waist to pull him forward, making him straddle his knees, their bare chests pressed together. Kaoru craned his neck upwards, his mouth desperately seeking Hikarus, his hands running roughly over the skin of his brothers back.

Kaorus eyes flew open as Hikaru wrenched his mouth away, pushing himself off Kaorus lap and back onto the floor. They were both panting hard, their skin slick with a sheen of sweat, their hair tousled and knotted. Kaorus wild eyes sought his brothers face, but Hikaru had his head bowed, his chest heaving. Slowly, he raised his head to look at Kaoru.

"Kaoru… what are we doing?" his voice trembled, his body shook.

"I don't know…" A pause. "Should we stop?"

"I don't want to…"

Neither twin moved, the reality of their actions settling over them like mist. Hikaru averted his gaze, staring at the floor like it would open up and tell them what to do. Kaoru bowed his head, his mind racing too fast to grasp any coherent thought.

He heard a _thwump_ and flicked his eyes to his brother, who had lain back on the cool floor boards, his arms out stretched, his eyes staring at the roof. Quietly, Kaoru crawled over and lay down beside him, hesitantly resting his head on his brothers shoulder. To his pleasant surprise, Hikaru bent his arm around Kaorus shoulders, pulling him closer. Neither knew how long they stayed like that, Hikarus arm around Kaoru, Kaorus fingers resting hesitantly on Hikarus chest, listening to his heartbeat, both twins staring into space.

Eventually, Hikaru broke the silence.

"Its just kissing, right?"

A snort of surprised amusement forced its way out of Kaoru at his brothers words. Shyly, he tilted his head up to look at Hikarus face.

"Yeah, just kissing." A moment of silence passed before he continued. "Is that… is that okay?"

Hikaru sat up, pulling Kaoru up with him.

"I don't know…"

Kaoru watched as Hikaru got to his feet, holding out a hand to him. Taking it, he let Hikaru pull him up, his heart skipping a beat when he didn't let go of him. He let Hikaru lead him over the bed, turning off the desk lamp on the way, and curled up under the doona, his head once again resting in the crook of his twins shoulder. Not another word was uttered between them, and Kaoru soon fell into sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Things were getting ridiculous.

Once again, Kaorus hands had run their way around his brothers thighs, curling beneath him so he could lift him onto the empty desk. Hikaru had hooked his ankles around Kaorus waist, dragging him forwards, forcing their hips together. One hand he had to hold behind him to keep them both upright, but the other was knotted in his brothers hair as their mouths moved urgently against one another, clumsy and passionate. Their uniforms were in disarray, their jackets open, their shirts untucked, but they hardly cared, the only thing on either of their minds was the other brothers lips beneath theirs.

It was lunch hour at the high school, and as they had been almost every day since the truth had come out, they were in a disused classroom across campus, all searching hands and desperate mouths. Neither Hikaru nor Kaoru had been able to keep their hands off their twin in the recent week, and after every time they gave in, they would fix themselves up and agree that was the last time, they needed to stop and it wouldn't happen again. At least, not until they got home anyway.

Kaorus hands had found his brothers skin under his shirt, and he ran them up his sides and over his back, his nails ever so slightly digging into Hikarus tender flesh. His mouth abandoned his brothers as one hand freed itself from Hikarus shirt to curl around the nape of his neck, grabbing his hair and pulling his head back so his lips could attack the delicate skin of his neck. He heard Hikaru give a small moan of pleasure as his mouth kissed and sucked a soft trail down to his brothers collar, stopping only to tug lightly at the fabric with his teeth in faint frustration. Hikaru pulled back from Kaoru, his fingers running from where they were knotted in Kaorus hair, down his jaw to tilt his head back up, his mouth desperate to reunite with his brothers. Kaoru, however, gently twisted his chin out of Hikarus grasp, a wicked smile tugging at his lips.

In one swift move, Kaoru had pulled Hikarus supporting arm out from under him, and lowered him quickly, but gently, back onto the desk. Kaoru watched his brothers eyes grow wide, his wet mouth open in surprise, watching as Kaorus hands work their way up his torso, undoing the buttons of his shirt as they went, his fingertips trailing lightly over his skin as they parted the fabric. By the time he had reached the last button of his collar, Hikaru was trembling, his eyes screwed shut against the torturous sensation. Kaoru revelled in the sight in front of him, thrilled that Hikaru seemed to be enjoying the new adventure as much as he was. Neither of them had done anything like this before, and he was both incredibly nervous and excited, wanting to see how far he could push his brother, but not wanting to over step the line.

He popped the button open and let his fingers push the now open shirt back to reveal the sweet skin of Hikarus shoulders. He leant forward, wanting to taste him, to brush his lips over the hollow of his clavicle and the gently arching ribs that were rising and falling with Hikarus bated breath, but in his movement, Hikaru had slid too far back on the desk, and Kaorus lips barely managed to clear his navel. Kaoru let out a menacing growl, drawing his hands down Hikarus sides in order to grab his hips and pull him closer, but before he could he noticed that Hikaru had grown alarmingly tense.

Pausing with his mouth mere millimetres from his brothers taught skin, Kaoru tilted his head just enough to glance up at Hikarus face. On the way, he noticed his brothers hands had curled into fists on the desk, and his breathing had turned to heavy panting. His eyes were shut tight, his neck strained, his bottom lip swollen from being bitten between gasps for air. His resolve wavered. Had he gone too far? He started to raise his head, his lip between his teeth with nerves, but he was stopped as one of Hikarus hands grabbed the back of his head.

"Hikaru..?"

"No, don't stop, please…"

Kaoru was shocked. Time seemed to stand still as Hikarus pleading words swam around in his mind. Then… chaos. Overdrive. His heart raced and his blood boiled as his passion returned tenfold. His fingers dug into Hikarus hips as his lips found their mark on his skin. He felt Hikarus muscles quiver beneath his mouth as he kissed, licked and sucked greedily along under his ribs, giddy with excitement, wanting to devour every inch of his brothers body. His tongue flicked and his teeth lightly grazed as he dared venture further down towards his brothers hips, teasing the tender flesh, drinking up the sound of Hikaru moaning under his touch. His hands raked white lines over Hikarus skin as his brother arched his back off the desk, his knees squeezing into Kaorus sides as his mouth crawled closer and closer to the waistband of his pants.

Kaoru was beside himself. He was so close now his tongue could taste the tang of the metal zipper, and his cheek could feel his brothers pulsing arousal through the material, which drove his own body wild. His breath was as erratic as his heartbeat as he scrambled to think of what to do. Should he go further? Did he want to? Did Hikaru want him to? Ah, it was too much!

Gritting his teeth, he finally pulled back, his eyes desperately searching for Hikarus, hoping his brother would give him an answer. Hikaru pushed himself up on his elbows, and Kaoru groaned when it became clear Hikaru was just as lost as he was, his mouth open, his eyes shining gloriously.

Silently, hesitantly, Kaorus fingertips curled against Hikarus hip, sliding just under the waistband of his pants. Hikaru wet his lips and swallowed, but didn't try to stop his twin, whos fingers were slowly edging deeper and deeper, sliding towards the centre button. Kaoru gasped under his breath as his thumb hit the plastic, instantly feeling how easy it would be to slip his nail under the button and pop it open. He held his brothers gaze, the tension in the air so thick he could taste it. He hesitated…

The clock tower bell rang out from across the courtyard, signalling the end of the lunch hour. The noise seemed to shatter the very air around them as they were brought roaring back to reality. Hikarus knees went slack and he sat upright on the desk, Kaoru quickly withdrew his hand, straightening up and taking a step back. Both twins averted their eyes awkwardly, hyper aware of what had almost happened between them. Silently, they tidied themselves up, Hikaru re-buttoning his shirt, Kaoru straightening his jacket and trying in vain to tame his hair with his hands. Hikaru gave his own hair a ruffle before shrugging and turning to his brother.

"The usual then Kaoru?" he said, only half-teasing. "Not going to happen again and all that?"

Kaoru grinned despite the atmosphere, glad his brother was able to crack a joke.

"Mmm, is there really a point to saying that anymore?"

Together, they stepped out into the hallway, heading back towards their classroom on the other side of the campus. Although neither twin said anything about what had just happened, a slight echo of tension still hung in the air between them. Kaoru risked a quick side glance at Hikaru and was relieved to see no sign of stress in his features. What was even better though, was the hesitant touch of his fingers on his palm, as Hikaru discreetly sought his hand to hold. Kaoru couldn't stop himself from smiling as their fingers close around one another, and he gave his brothers hand a gentle squeeze. Together, they walked hand in hand back to class.


	9. Chapter 9

"Haruhi said we seemed a lot better today."

Night had fallen over the city, and the twins were relaxing together in their room. Hikaru sat propped up against the pillows on their bed while Kaoru curled up beside him, his head resting gently in this brothers lap. Hikaru was idly running his fingers though Kaorus hair, staring idly off into space, content to be lost in his thoughts.

"Mmm? I guess we are a lot better…" Kaorus eyes were closed as he enjoyed the touch of his brothers hand. Both twins seemed to have moved on from the events of that afternoon during lunch hour, or at least neither of them had brought it up. In hindsight, even Kaoru didn't think it was as big of a deal as it had seemed at the time.

Hikaru laid his head back on the headboard, running his hand down to Kaorus shoulder. Kaorus brow knitted slightly as he opened his eyes, turning around on the bed to look up at his brother.

"We are better, right Hikaru?"

"I guess so…" Hikaru seemed far away, staring at the roof, his hand still on Kaorus chest as silence fell between them.

_Maybe he has been thinking about what I did today…_

Kaoru grew worried, unsure as to whether he should say something or not. The minutes ticked by, and his unease grew.

"Hikaru..?"

Kaoru made to sit up, but the movement seemed to knock his brother out of whatever daze he had been in, and the hand on his chest gently pushed him back down onto his lap, his fingertips tracing lazy circles over his shirt. Kaoru relaxed a bit, but the tension under his skin remained.

"Don't you think what we are doing is a little… not right? Like… is it really okay?"

Kaoru bit his lip. Neither of them had really questioned their actions since it started… or at least, not to one another anyway. Of course there had been times when Kaoru had been torn between the rights and wrongs of it in his own mind, but he hadn't had the nerve to say anything to his brother. He averted his eyes, a slight blush warming his cheeks.

"I… I don't know…"

He felt Hikaru move beneath him and flicked his eyes up again. Hikaru was leaning forward over Kaoru, still in his lap, his hair falling gracefully over dazed and pensive eyes. Kaoru felt his heart kick in his chest. His brother was absolutely beautiful.

"I don't think it could be okay by anyones standards really…" his voice was soft, gentle. Kaoru was breathless.

"Since when have we cared about anyones standards but our own?"

Hikaru threw his head back and laughed loudly, surprising Kaoru, making him that much more tense. He'd seen Hikaru act like this before of course, but there was something different this time… he couldn't put his finger on it, and it made him nervous.

Hikaru stopped laughing and looked back down at his brother, his head tilted, his lips pulled back in a grin. The hand on Kaorus chest slid over his shirt and up his neck to curl around his cheek as he regarded his brother with sparkling eyes.

"You're right, Kaoru. It's always been just you and me hasn't it? Why should that stop now?"

"Hikaru…" Kaoru pushed himself up, gently pushing away Hikarus hand. "Why are you talking like this?"

Hikaru sat forward, curling his legs beneath him so he was sitting on his knees facing his brother, his eyes not leaving Kaorus face. His features were suddenly serious, his gaze direct, boring straight into his twin. Kaoru swallowed nervously, as Hikarus hand once again found his cheek, his thumb stroking softly in the hollow of his jaw.

"I guess I'm just trying to convince myself that it's okay…" Kaoru tried to cut him off, but Hikaru moved his fingers to his lips, silencing him. "… to want you like I did this afternoon."

Kaoru gazed at his brother, stunned.

"I… I didn't want you to stop Kaoru… I wasn't thinking… I didn't care… I just wanted to feel more of you…"

Hikarus fingers curled under his brothers chin, and Kaoru let himself be pulled forward so their lips could meet. He was still stunned, still utterly lost in Hikarus words, and he barely felt himself move as he slid closer on the bed, trying unconsciously to get as near to his twin as he could. He could feel Hikarus hands on his skin, under his shirt, his nails dragging softly over his flesh, but it was like a dream to him. His mind was blank, shocked, uncomprehending.

"Kaoru…"

Hikaru murmured his name against his lips, bringing Kaoru back to earth. He felt Hikarus passion on his mouth, and his lips parted, letting their kisses deepen. His eyes closed and he gave himself over to the desire he could feel building inside him. Of course, he'd felt it before when he wrapped himself around his twin, but there was something different, something in the air around them that crackled like static. He couldn't focus, he couldn't keep up.

Hikaru didn't seem to be under the same tension. He was full of passion, full of lust, his hands searching Kaorus heated body while his tongue explored his wet mouth. He was leaning forward, forcing Kaoru back little by little, until they lost balance and went tumbling onto the mattress, Hikaru straddling his brothers hips and wrenching his shirt over his head. Kaoru barely had time to register the change in pace before Hikarus mouth was back on his, moving fast, pressing him into the mattress. His body was reacting around him, his skin heating, his heart racing, but his mind was jumbled, confused. Why? He didn't know.

Hikarus mouth was on his neck now, kissing, sucking, his teeth lightly grazing the skin. He shuddered in pleasure as Hikaru nipped at his tender flesh, sending a sharp jolt of glorious pain down his spine. Wait, when had he lost his shirt? It didn't matter, as long as Hikaru could reach his skin. It felt like Hikaru was everywhere at once, Kaorus whole body was on fire, and his breath was coming in gasps. He was drowning in passion, blinded by desire, so caught up in the sensations that he hadn't realised that Hikaru had reached his hips. His eyes flew open and the haze lifted, bringing him roaring back to the present.

Hikaru gazed up at him, his eyes wide, his lips wet and swollen.

"Do you understand now, Kaoru?"

Kaoru couldn't answer, he was so conflicted. He knew what he wanted, but… they couldn't… could they?

A whimper escaped his lips as Hikarus fingers curled slowly under the waist band of his pyjama pants. The elastic seemed so flimsy, it would be so easy for him to just… no, he couldn't ask that… he couldn't do that… _but he wanted to._

"What should I do, Kaoru?" Hikaru leaned forward, his lips brushing against the skin just above Kaorus pants. His warm breath washed over Kaorus skin, feeding his desire, and his uncertainty. His body jerked involuntarily as he felt Hikaru take the flimsy material between his teeth, tugging gently, teasingly. He could feel his brothers cheek against his arousal, and it drove him wild.

"Hikaru…"

Hikaru released the elastic, softly snapping it against his brothers hips.

"Kaoru… I want you…" his fingers curled deeper, his nails dragging gloriously over Kaorus skin. "I want you so badly…"

Kaoru couldn't bear it any longer.

"Take me…" he could hardly believe what he was saying, but he couldn't stop himself. "Hikaru… please… please take me…"

He glanced down at his brother, desperate and pleading, scared and excited. He saw his emotion reflected back at him from his brothers eyes, and time seemed to stand still as slowly, slowly, Hikarus wandering fingers crossed the boundary of the elastic, searching, needing, wanting to throw them both over the edge into the forbidden abyss…


	10. Chapter 10

They were wild, ecstatic, raw with passion and ecstasy. All doubts had fled, all lines had been crossed, there was no turning back, no second guessing. The only thing filling Kaorus mind was the pure bliss radiating through his body, and the pulsing ache for more.

He was propped up on his elbows, back arched, head thrown back in pleasure as wave after wave of crushing sensation washed over him with each flick of his brother's tongue, every squeeze of his hand. From the instant Hikaru had touched his skin, Kaoru had been captivated. It wasn't long before Hikaru had taken him in his mouth, equally as desperate for satisfaction as his brother, wanting to taste him, to feel him, to please him. It had honestly taken Kaoru by surprise, but it just felt so good… there was no way he could stop him.

Kaoru glanced down at his brother, wanting to see him, hardly daring to believe it was real. As if on cue, Hikaru flicked his eyes up, and their gazes met, sending a jolt up Kaorus spine. The sight of his twin like that, eyes gleaming, cheeks flushed pink as his mouth moved around his arousal… it drove him wild. While he watched, Hikaru released him, looking up with feverish passion, his lips swollen, his breath shallow and heavy, washing over Kaorus sensitive skin. He was enraptured by his brother's open mouth, glistening with saliva and pre cum, and, without thinking, desperate for it, roughly hooked Hikaru around the shoulder, dragging him up so their open mouths could meet.

The tang of skin and sex was overwhelming, and it tasted like heaven. It flooded his senses and fuelled his desire as he sucked greedily at Hikarus mouth and tongue. He could feel his brother's moans on his lips and in his throat, sending shockwaves of pleasure down his spine. He reached his hands between their bodies, searching for his twin's hips, wanting to entice more of the delicious sounds from him. As his fingers grasped his flesh, Hikaru pulled back, his eyes screwed shut against the sensation as Kaoru squeezed and pulled, relishing in the reactions of his twin. He brought his free hand up to Hikarus neck, pulling his head forward into the crook of his shoulder and holding it there, feeling his brothers tremors, his wet lips on his skin.

"Kaoru…" Hikarus voice was pleading, low and husky against his neck. "I… I want you…"

Breaking free of his hold, Hikaru turned his face up, desperation and desire gleaming in his eyes. Kaoru understood immediately, and his heart skipped a beat.

"Lay back…"

Carefully, as if in a dream, they shifted on the bed, Hikaru falling gently back onto the mattress and exposing his half naked body to his brother towering above him. Kaorus ran his hands slowly over Hikarus thighs, still hidden beneath the thinnest of cotton. Letting his eyes rake over his twins form, he moved his hands to grasp the waistband of Hikarus pants, wrenching them down over his thighs with unexpected force. He heard his brother's gasp of surprise and the corner of his mouth twitched up in satisfaction.

Throwing the flimsy material aside, he turned his attention back to his twin, who was now entirely naked and exposed in front of him. He felt his desire pulsing through his veins as he drank in the sight, taking his time to run his fingertips lightly over the heated skin of his navel, his hips, his legs… he wanted to commit every inch of his brother's body to memory, and the more places he touched, the more powerful he felt.

Struck with a sudden urge, Kaoru dug his fingers into the soft skin of Hikarus thigh, roaring forward to kiss and suck at the tender flesh. He felt Hikaru jolt on the bed, letting out a cry of surprise, but he didn't release him. He heard him call his name, and a growl escaped his throat. When he was satisfied, he rose above his brother, leaning forward to rest on his hands, one either side of Hikarus head. The excited fear he saw reflected in his brother's eyes was exactly what he wanted, and it spurred him on.

Slowly, not breaking eye contact, he shifted one hand, trailing two of his fingertips over the skin of his brother's neck, over his jaw to his parted lips.

"Suck."

Hikaru obeyed instantly, taking them into his mouth, so warm and wet that Kaorus breath caught and his eyes closed. He was so turned on that even his hands had grown over sensitive, and his body reacted to the new sensations as it had the first time he was in his brother's mouth. Even thinking about it drove him wild, and it was with reluctance that he finally withdrew them, moving his dripping fingers down Hikarus body, to his hips.

He hesitated, hardly daring to even think about what he was about to do next.

"Hikaru… are you sure?"

Hikaru gave a shivering breath and nodded meekly, his body tense, almost electric. Kaorus confidence from moments ago had cracked, but he knew there was no going back. He wanted it, desperately, but he still couldn't hold his brothers gaze, and he buried his head in the pillows as his finger found its mark, and pushed its way inside.

Hikaru shuddered beneath him, letting out a moan and a gasp. Kaorus heart skipped a beat, but he didn't let up, moving his finger around in small circles, pushing against his brother's walls. After a moment, when Hikaru had calmed down, he pushed in deeper, allowing himself to feel his own pleasure as he made his brother tremble and moan.

"Hikaru, are you okay?"

The tension within him would not ease, and he raised his head slightly to glance sideways at his brother. His face was tinged pink, his eyes screwed shut and his teeth clenched together, and Kaorus stomach flipped in panic. Was he hurting him? His hand froze, and Hikaru groaned.

"No… don't stop…"

Amazed, Kaoru stared at him as he arched his neck off the pillows, letting out a small whimper. He felt the tension he had snap, and a grin spread across his face. With his confidence repaired, Kaoru started to move again, pressing his second finger inside and taking the tender skin of his exposed neck softly between his teeth. Hikarus body jolted in pleasure as his senses were overloaded with feeling and passion. It wasn't enough though, not for either of them.

Carefully withdrawing his hand, Kaoru rose to lean over Hikaru again, his lust fully restored, burning through his veins like wildfire. Hikaru was panting heavily, a delicious sheen of sweat making him glisten. They didn't need to say it, they both knew what the other wanted, what they needed. Wordlessly, Kaoru positioned himself, stroking his own arousal, making himself harder. He felt his cheeks burn red as he caught Hikaru watching him.

He looked away, embarrassed. "What? I'm kinda dry now…"

"Lick your fingers."

He blanched at Hikarus shamelessness, but obeyed anyway, swiping his moist thumb over his tip. It worked, and the first hints of pre cum spilled over his hand. Satisfied, he leant forward, his heart racing in his chest, his nerves thoroughly on end. His fingers pressed into his brother once more, loosening him, and he heard Hikarus breath catch. This time, he held his gaze as he slowly, as gently as he could, pushed his way inside.

He was barely even aware of Hikarus reaction as his body was overwhelmed by the sensation. Ecstasy shot through him, radiating from the warmth and pressure he felt between his hips. His mind was flooded, his skin was burning, he wanted more, he _needed_ more. The resistance he felt as he pressed deeper was incredible, surging from all sides, squeezing him, ravishing him. God it was just… _so good…_

"Kaoru!"

Hikarus cry brought him roaring back to reality, and he snapped his head down, his wild eyes searching for his brothers. Hikaru was squirming beneath him, his breathing heavy, eyes screwed shut, beads of sweat running over his skin. Kaorus stomach dropped, and guilt flooded his body as he realised the situation. He stopped moving, fearful of hurting him even more, panic rising in him again.

"Hikaru?" he started to pull back, "I'm so sorry are you… ah!"

Hikarus eyes flew open, his hands grabbed at Kaorus waist and his thighs tightened around his hips. Kaoru stared down at him, confused.

"Kaoru, don't stop… please don't stop… go deeper…"

Kaoru hesitated, pushing back against Hikarus tightening knees.

"Are you sure? Does it hurt?"

Hikarus wide eyes stared up at him, pleading. He shook his head.

"It doesn't hurt… its good…" he moaned quietly, bucking his hips ever so slightly off the mattress before turning back to his brother. "Are you okay?"

Kaoru didn't answer. Instead, he started to move again, slower this time, supressing the sensations he felt in order to pay more attention to his twin. Ever fibre in his body wanted to give in to the pure pleasure calling to him, but the thought of hurting Hikaru overpowered it, if only barely. He watched his brother's face as he pushed in deeper, looking for any signs of distress or pain, but soon became enraptured in his reactions.

Watching the eroticism play in his twins features was amazing, and only added to his lust and passion. Too soon, he was as deep as he could go, and even though he wanted so badly to pull out and do it again, he resisted, letting Hikaru adjust to his presence.

"Hikaru..?"

"Just… give me a minute…"

He was breathing hard, his face flushed red, his eyes watering. He said it didn't hurt, but looking at Hikaru like this, Kaoru found himself doubting that. He could feel his brother resisting him, he could feel how tight he was… surely it had to hurt?

The thought brought his attention back to the feeling between his hips, and his arms shook. It really did feel amazing, and it took so much of his energy to hold back. Keeping still was a real test of endurance to him, and a part of him silently begged Hikaru to let him move again.

"Kaoru…"

His eyes flew open and caught his twins. That was enough. He let go.

The feeling crushed him. The heat, the pressure, the friction… he could never even imagine reaching pleasure of these heights before. The more he moved, the more it grew, building inside of him, rolling over him like waves of ecstasy crashing around him, drowning him in bliss. Faster, harder, deeper… it wasn't enough, he needed more.

With a growl of frustration, he hooked Hikarus knees around his arms and wrenched them forward, lifting his hips off the mattress as he drove himself deeper still. He heard his brother cry out, and it spurred him on. He grabbed Hikarus hips, dragging him up, trying desperately to go deeper, faster, harder. All coherent thought had fled his mind. He felt like he was chasing a nirvana that was just beyond his reach, and it was breaking him.

Desperately, he leant forwards, slipping his brothers ankles off his shoulders so he could reach his mouth. His hands grabbed roughly at Hikarus hair as he pressed their open lips together, hot and wet. Silently, he begged his brother to release him, to give him paradise. His body cried out, unable to move any faster, to go any deeper, yet pleading for satisfaction. He was _so close…_

_Please… dear God please…_

"Kaoru…" Hikarus voice seemed so far away, it barely broke through. "Kaoru I… I'm going to…"

He felt Hikaru jolt beneath him as he came, and it only made him feel that much more desperate. He didn't slow his pace, he couldn't, he needed to keep going, he needed to come too. _He was so very close…_

He buried his head in the pillows and bit down as a pleasure he had never felt before broke over him. His body twisted, his muscles twitched, his mind exploded as he tumbled through the gates of nirvana. The sensation was indescribable, and he left himself float through it shamelessly.

Minutes past as they lay together, hot, sticky and naked, both revealing in their orgasms. Kaoru had slipped sideways onto the mattress to avoid crushing Hikaru, who was laying spread-eagled beneath him. As time passed, their breathing returned to normal as they drifted down back to earth and reality. Kaorus body felt so heavy, so gloriously lethargic. He didn't want to move, but he could feel Hikaru starting to shift beneath him. With a sigh, he rolled over, untangling himself from Hikarus legs and propped himself up on his elbow, facing his brother.

Hikaru looked back at him, a small smile playing at his lips. Kaorus stomach tightened, and he was suddenly nervous.

"You okay, Hikaru?"

"Mmm…" Hikaru didn't seem as awkward. "Sticky…"

Kaoru couldn't stop himself from snorting. He grinned at his brother, his nervousness evaporated.

"Mmm, me too. Shower?"

Hikaru nodded, pushing himself up and swinging his legs over the side of the mattress. His slight wince didn't escape Kaorus notice.

"Hey, you sure you're okay?"

Hikaru blanched.

"Yeah, I'm fine… just feels a bit weird that's all."

Kaoru frowned.

"Does it hurt?"

Hikarus face reddened even more.

"I'm fine Kaoru. Lets just go have a shower and go to bed."

Determinedly, Hikaru stood up and strode across the room, wrenching open the bathroom door. Kaoru merely shrugged, and followed. He'd see how his brother was in the morning.


End file.
